I’ll never forget the night I was rocking my inconsolable newborn daughter nearly twelve years ago. It was, of course, the middle of the night and she would fall back asleep in my arms but the second I tried to lay her down…..BOOM! We all know what happens next.
So I thought, fine, you want me to hold you all night? We’re going to do it on MY terms. And since there’s nothing I’d rather be doing (okay THAT’S a lie, I’d much rather have been sleeping!) than holding my sweet, precious, beautiful baby; I decided we’d head out to the living room where the overstuffed rocking recliner was much more comfortable than standing over her crib.
So there we were, all cozied up and she’d finally fallen fast asleep. I, however, was wide awake. I turned on the television and started flipping through the channels. A song on VH1 caught my attention. It turned out to be a relatively new band named Maroon 5 and the song was “This Love”.
I thought it was awesome and I wanted to hear more!
After looking up some more of their songs on the internet, I decided to buy the cd they’d recently released. This was back before the days of iTunes in my realm of technology, so buying the whole cd meant I had to like most of their songs. There are not a lot of bands/musicians whose albums I could listen to endlessly, however, Songs About Jane remains my most favorite cd. There is not a song on there I don’t know all the words to and sing them loudly every time I play it, much to the dismay and/or enjoyment of my children or anyone else who happens to be around.
If you’re like me and music speaks directly to your heart and soul, then there is always that one song that strikes a chord (no pun intended) in you and gets you through some of the most difficult days of your life. At this particular time in my life, when I discovered Maroon 5, I was miserable in a lot of ways. I was a new mom, which was great because I had this spectacular little person to love and care for, but I was in a marriage that left me feeling alone and worthless. Becoming a parent magnified that for me. The song “She Will Be Loved” on the album I had just purchased was like it had been written for me. When I listened to it, it gave me hope that there was more to my life than what was immediately in front of me. I started going regularly to see a counselor in a town an hour away from my home and I listened to this song on repeat, gaining strength with every word I sang.
It would take me about another 8 years to be strong enough to leave that marriage. I think it is safe to say I am amazed that song will even still play from that disc. I even went as far as to have the words ‘She Will Be Loved’ tattooed on my left foot in 2011. When I told the tattoo artist I wanted the words to face me he didn’t understand. I explained that I wasn’t getting these words so someone else could read them, I was getting them for ME. I wanted to read them. I wanted to be reminded when I didn’t have the strength to believe it. To have them on my foot is a way to remember when I am feeling down that my life is more than just what I am seeing now and over time I have learned that in order for “she” to be loved like she wanted from a partner, “she” first has to love herself. Loving myself is something I work on daily and luckily for me, I have a husband who is very supportive and understanding.
So that fateful night in 2003 will stay with me forever, in many ways. I have bought every album Maroon 5 has released since and some might say I have an unhealthy obsession with Adam Levine…..but I don’t care. There still isn’t a song I don’t know the words to or can’t apply to my life in some way. And I hope that never changes.
Here’s my latest Maroon 5 addiction.